zosowiththemosto: milkpunk: yapped: jankyass: if you catch me on the street listening to my ipod and i do a swift head turn i’m probably in the middle of filming my imaginary music video. do not disturb. I have found my people. who else like closes their eyes during a buildup and then pops them open when the chorus or w/e starts as if like the video’s starting or there’s a swift...
witneyhouston: im having one of those nights where u watch one youtube video and watch a related video and 3 hours later ur watching an hour long conspiracy documentary about how the illuminati killed michael jackson
robert-downey-jesus: I SERVED A KID DRESSED AS IRON MAN TODAY AND I ASKED HIM WHAT HIS NAME WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS TONY AND HIS MUM SHOOK HER HEAD AND WAS LIKE NO HIS NAME IS JESSE AND I LOOKED BACK AT THE KID TO GIVE HIM HIS CHANGE AND SAID ‘HAVE A NICE DAY MR STARK’ AND HE GOT SO EXCITED AND RAN OFF WITH HIS SISTER IT WAS GREAT
i have two moods: fuck you and fuck me
misandryinhaiku: “women are weaklings!” i’m strong enough to carry your corpse to the woods
buck-barnes: i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run it’s course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
When I see a good looking person: →
e-zekiel: okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time and then another person fell and another and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu...